Instead of reacting with fear or anger, we can choose not to react but to contemplate and choose the outcome.
When we react, it is as if we are saying, “this process is problematic”, yet the very reaction is the next step of the equation which furthers the cycle of that discomfort.
When we choose, we stop the reaction which would inevitably recreate the same cycle. By choosing, without reacting to the stimulus which comes from outside (or even inside) then we take the power back. By choosing, we are saying, “I am learning from this process, and from this learning I choose what happens next and in other situations.”
Doing this is indicative of the ability to gain control from this learning process. It indicates that even if we are in a position that requires change, we are using that to get to that change.
By reacting, we are saying, “I disapprove of this learning process, and I will continue the cycle and recreate the same experiences over and over again.”
In that way we have to first accept what is happening in order to overcome it.
This is evident when we react because whatever measures are taken through that reaction are often short-term fixes or emotional/irrational responses that cover-up or paint over the real cause of the cycle we are experiencing.
In other words, if we react, we have to continue to react each time whatever it is happens.
If we choose to contemplate and respond, we only have to do this once for each layer of experience or ‘lesson’. If it occurs again, we are not caught in a cycle of hiding from the problem and using emotions or irrationality to cover up the reality of the situation which is that we are intrinsically tied into both sides without admitting it.